So you’re feeling a bit down. You don’t think what you’re doing is good enough. You’re wondering how you will ever be able to step up and live your dreams when you just don’t think you can.
We’ve all been there.
Let me tell you now that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
EVERYONE has had a moment in their life when they’ve felt that they just weren’t good enough. And it can be a bit of a vicious cycle when it comes to believing in yourself.
Take these two scenarios.
1. In the first place you don’t believe you can do it (any aspiration you have in life), so when you do try, of course you don’t really expect to succeed, and when you eventually fail, you look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘Hey see, I told you you weren’t good enough!’, which only fuels that belief even more.
2. On the other hand, if you believe there’s a good chance you can do it, when you try of course you expect that you’ll succeed or at least come close, and when you eventually do reach your goal, you look at yourself in the mirror and say ‘Hey see, way to go girl! You did it!’. And even if you don’t quite get there this time, you look in the mirror and say ‘It’s OK beautiful. You did so well! Just keep going, let’s try again. I know you can do it!’.
So how do we end this cycle of low self-belief and transform it into one filled with confidence?
1. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE
One of the fundamental lessons to learn about self-belief is to truly embrace WHO YOU ARE. It’s incredibly common in this day and age for us to be surrounded by other ‘voices’ telling us who we should be.
But at the end of the day, YOU are the only one that is going to be with yourself for life! At the very least, you need to become good friends with yourself, or even better LOVE YOURSELF, completely, wholly and fully.
You are a miracle and there is no one else like you on this planet! Accept and love every part of you!
2. LIFT YOURSELF UP WITH POSITIVE SELF-TALK
I know it’s easier said that done, but think about it this way – if you constantly beat yourself up or pepper your thoughts with negative comments and disempowering taunts, how will you expect to feel?
And how do you think that’s going to make you behave?
If you feel lousy, it’s unlikely you’ll be motivated to do anything because let’s face it, you’re not good enough anyway so why even bother right?
Understanding that your self-talk is one of the most important tools for transforming your lack of self-belief into confidence is KEY!
You’ve got to become aware of the ways that you’re beating yourself up and tearing yourself down. And when you notice it, start to replace it with more positive statements like;
You’re doing the best you can! Keep going!
You’ll get there!
3. BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOUR FEAR
Fear is that four letter word that kinda just effs everything up right? Why? Because when you give it enough power, it overtakes you. It becomes the driver from where you create your thoughts, beliefs and actions. It comes from a place of lack and stops you from moving forward.
Good news is that if you become friends with it, it starts to lose its power.
It’s perfectly OK to be scared! It’s absolutely normal!
And YES, it can be super uncomfortable. That might show up for you as a fast-beating heart, sweaty palms, horrible images flashing through your mind..whatever it is for you..it’s A-OK!
Fear is simply a signal that we feel when our instincts are trying to protect us from perceived pain. So in essence, we really should LOVE our fear. Because it points us to possible danger.
HOWEVER, our fear is not always right. It might be drawing on previous experience or a really bad imagined future…but it doesn’t mean that those things are going to happen. It’s just a signal.
For me, I’ve used fear as a sign that I should go for it! When I first moved to LA, I almost died – as in, in my mind I almost died, from fear. Or when I was signing up for Meisner Acting classes – after watching a girl get yelled at by the teacher for about 45 minutes on stage – I still did it!
Because whilst it was TERRIFYING, I knew that if was able to move through it and be friends with my fear, I would come out the other side a better person for it.
As you get used to that feeling, you realize – that’s all it is. A feeling. And it becomes normal instead of crippling. But no matter where you are at in your self-belief journey, just know that you are doing the best you can!
It’s not a race or competition.
Each step forward is moving you out of your lack self-belief into your self-confidence, and that’s when some real magic begins to happen!
Your action step this week is to begin to use more positive language when talking about yourself.
In the comments below, tell me 3 things that you love about yourself!